U.S. Supreme Court: Justice Must Be Served for Former Playboy Model
Above: Justice Clarence Thomas sneaks up behind Anna Nicole Smith outside the courtroom.
“This court must settle the case involving former Playboy Playmate Anna Nicole Smith,” Chief Justice John Roberts solemnly declared this afternoon. “It’s something about an inheritance or whatever.”
Justice Alito agreed, remarking, “It is imperative that this broad appear in our hallowed halls at the earliest possible date, and that she spend as much time as possible with each justice. Only in this way can justice be served.”
Added Alito: “We must kill anything — and everything — except your unborn fetus.”
But Justice Clarence Thomas was most elated of all the Court’s members. “The Smith case is particularly interesting to this honorable court, as well as on a personal level,” he explained. “This may finally help resolve the issue of how that pubic hair appeared on my coke can.“
