Rapper 50 Cent issued a stern warning to listeners in his latest album, The Massacre: “You should take time to check that bitch.”

50 issued his statement after presenting several pieces of key supporting evidence. “I have ya ho, eyeballin’ at the light,” he said, alluding to the way your girlfriend has shown interest in 50 and his “big white [Mercedes] Benz.”

Added 50: “damn pimpin.”

50 Cent is a wholly owned subsidiary of Universal Music Group, which is in turn a wholly owned subsidiary of Vivendi Universal S.A.

Expressing concern about the current situation with your girlfriend, 50 Cent declared that he’s “tired of tellin’ niggas over and over I won’t hesitate to pop or shank ya.”

“You don’t listen you gon’ get ya ass hit,” 50 concluded.

Intel, the world’s largest computer chipmaker, will be upgrading its brand next week, BBC has reported. The company will have a slightly modified logo and a new slogan: “Leap Ahead.”

Intel’s products will remain exactly the same.

Intel, the company, is worth $150 billion. But its brand, one of the most highly marketed in the world, is worth $35 billion on its own.¹

Marketing experts hailed the decision. According to one researcher, “With a stronger brand, Intel can charge consumers more money for the same products, increasing profits. It will also help manipulate consumers’ ideas about what Intel is. This is a great move for America.”