Displaying both generosity and compassion, President Bush granted an “official pardon” to Marshmallow the turkey. To be eligible for the pardon, Marshmallow had presumably been tried and convicted on felony charges of “being a turkey.”

Bush’s good will did not extend to an estimated 45 million other convicted turkeys, all of whom will be slaughtered and eaten for their crimes. Nor did it extend to Frances Newton, an African American woman recently executed in Texas despite questionable evidence of her guilt.

According to bloomberg.com, Marshmallow will go on vacation to Disneyland, stay in an upscale hotel, and then retire in a 1930s replica park. Butterball Inc., which kills eight million turkeys a year, sponsored Marshmallow’s chauffeuring to the pardoning ceremony.

“The granting of the turkey pardon is not a responsibility that I take lightly,” Bush said.